


The Day the Earth Stood Still

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Mirrors (2008), Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, M/M, Porn, Resolved Sexual Tension, Slash, The Drift (Pacific Rim), Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:38:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"In a move to counter Yamarashi's path, Gipsy Danger and one other Jaeger are deployed into the mouth of the Los Angeles River. When their partner's missile barrage does nothing to harm the Kaiju, Yancy and Raleigh Becket are forced to take over the fight." This is the story of the <i>other</i> Jaeger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Team Carson

**August 8th, 2013**

"Take care of your sister. And don't crash Lucky Strike."

Ben Carson chuckled as he returned his father's embrace. "I'll take good care of your jeep, Dad."

"I still can't believe you named your car after a brand of cigarettes." Angie's voice was muffled behind the armload of Thai pads and practice gear that she dumped in the open back of the SUV. She gave her father a wide smile as she straightened, tucking an errant strand of her blonde hair behind one ear. "I know, I know. Great great grandaddy's plane in the war."

"And you'd do well to respect that." Jeff Carson moved to hug his daughter. "Do your best, honey. Have a great time."

"I'll have a huge sparkly belt when I come home," Angie replied, still grinning, and Ben couldn't help but feel a fond affection for his sister's determination. It was an essential part of competing in Muay Thai, after all, and he'd never been more proud than when she'd won the California state finals for her junior division a month ago. This would be her last year as a junior, her best bet to place in their division before moving into adult competition. They both had their father's straw blond hair and blue eyes, but Ben could see fragments of his mother in Angie's smile, memories of the determination she'd had to beat the cancer that had taken her from them when Ben was ten. It hurt, sometimes. But not today.

"Just be safe," their father replied, pressing a kiss to his daughter's forehead.

"We'll be fine." Ben took the keys from him and rounded the car as Angie settled in the passenger seat, waving out the window.

"See you in a week, Dad!" 

Angie plugged her ipod into the car stereo as they pulled out of the garage, shuffling through tracks before finally putting on a mix of upbeat but unobtrusive summer dance beats. She leaned the passenger side seat back a little, looking out over the city. "Colorado has to be warmer than here, right?"

"It'll probably be sunnier." Travelling to competition had always been one of Ben's favorite parts about Muay Thai, an excuse to escape the dreary San Francisco summer and see new places. It was easier for them to travel now that he was twenty-one; Dad hadn't always been able to get away from his work for the San Francisco PD to travel with them. The chilly breeze that came off the ocean and the low clouds made the city seem cold; it would be a relief to get away.

"Thank god," Angie replied, pulling her knees up and bracing them against the dash. "We have to train outside tomorrow so I can tan. I'm so white that I'm going to blind my opponents if I compete like this."

"That could be an advantage." Suntanning was a decadent thought. Still, as they started across the Bay Bridge, Ben took a moment to glance back to the distant towers of the Golden Gate, just barely visible in the fog. A landmark for sailors returning home across the Pacific during World War Two, he'd been told as a child. They would be home again soon enough.

They rolled into Boulder around 4pm on Friday, after a leisurely drive and over-nighting in Salt Lake City. Angie only made a few wrong turns driving in to Boulder, and soon Ben was knocking on the front door of a small bungalow in the 'burbs.

What he noticed first about the man who opened the door was his smile - wide and generous, instantly putting Ben at ease. Kind blue eyes matched the smile, his hair a slightly tousled auburn mop that he ran his fingers through as he opened the door. 

Ben offered a smile in return. "Larry Byrne?"

"That's me. Ben Carson, right? Can I help you guys unload?"

"Just tell us where we can put stuff," Ben replied, starting back down the steps to where Angie had started taking things out of the back of the SUV. "You've already done enough putting us up."

Larry chuckled, taking a duffle bag from Angie anyway and shouldering it. "I've couch surfed at so many competitions, I owe it to the world to give back. Competing in Muay Thai's expensive enough as it is. Come on inside."

Ben found himself liking their host's easy manner immediately, and was content to listen to him and Angie chat as they settled in and started to prepare dinner, talking Muay Thai and the competition venue. Ben had brought the fixings for spaghetti - a good gesture when you were couch surfing, he hoped - and Larry seemed happy to let him take over the cooking.

"How about you, do you compete?" Larry turned to face him as he set the colander down on the counter for him.

Ben chuckled and shook his head. "I did for a while, quit last year. Now I teach junior and help Angie train."

"Yeah? Why'd you stop competing?"

Ben stepped back from the stove and turned to face him, looking over the other man. Analyzing an opponent still came second nature. Larry was strong, but compact, his t-shirt clinging to well-defined muscles, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. And tall, at least four or five inches taller than Ben. Perfectly fitting for Muay Thai.. "What class are you? Middleweight, Super Middleweight?"

Larry quirked an eyebrow. "Super. Good eye."

"Thanks. Me too, believe it or not. And because I'm a short little shit, it's a bit of a disadvantage. But I like teaching, and I like training with Angie. I figure I'll do this for a couple more years and then apply to the San Francisco PD. Our Dad's a cop."

Larry's smile widened. "I was thinking about that too. I work part time security right now, more when I'm not competing. I actually started Muay Thai to pad my resume." He leaned in to nudge Ben in the arm with his elbow playfully. "If that spaghetti's half decent then we're going to get on great."

"I'll make the best damn spaghetti you've ever had," Ben replied, and proceeded to do just that.

~~~

Ben awoke the next day with a strange heaviness in the pit of his stomach, an abnormal uneasiness he didn't normally feel before competition. He contemplated it as he laid in bed quietly, Angie still asleep on the other half of the double bed in Larry's guest room, but couldn't place the source of the unease. It proved needless as the day wore on; Angie won both her fights.

His father's text was the first they heard about the 7.1 earthquake that had hit San Francisco in the early hours of Sunday morning. _'Hell of an earthquake. House and I are fine. Picking up search and rescue shifts downtown. Tell Angie not to worry.'_

 _'I will,'_ he texted back. _'Be careful.'_

"The news said something about a crazy earthquake in San Francisco," Larry remarked over breakfast. "Is everything okay back home?"

Ben nodded. "We got a text from home, home is fine. Building regulations are pretty strict, we just finished a seismic retrofit on the house last year." Contemplating anything else would have to wait until they were back home; better to keep Angie's mind on the competition.

"Dad's probably downtown helping clear buildings," Angie added with a little smile. "He's helped with stuff like that before."

Then, shortly before Angie's first fight the news reports started coming in. Ben could only stare at the small screen in the gymnasium foyer, horror warring with complete and utter disbelief.

Giant Creature Attacks

Buildings Collapse

National Guard Called in.

San Francisco a war zone.

He tightened his arm around Angie's shoulders, her fingers digging into his ribs as she half hid her face against his neck, shaking against him. It couldn't be real, there was no way - 

"Do you want to leave and watch this at my place?" Larry was still sweaty from his last fight, but his skin was pale as he took in the broadcast, generous mouth pinched tight.

"How the fuck can this be real?" The words exploded out of Ben before he could stop them, loud enough that the mill of people in the room started visibly. But his words continued regardless. "What is this, fucking 'War of the Worlds'? I'm supposed to sit here and believe my city's being attacked by some fucking sea monster?"

Then the broadcast switched to a broken, blurry live feed on location. Traffic on the golden gate bridge overshadowed by something too colossal to even fit in frame. Something monsterous, something he'd never believed could exist. And then there was nothing but destruction - the bridge cables snapping, towers crumbling, cars tumbling and falling into the bay amidst screams and cries.

Terrible. Devastating.

Real.

Ben turned the volume down after Angie cried herself to sleep on Larry's couch later that evening, watching the ongoing headlines blindly as Larry kept his glass filled with cheap but plentiful rye. Tresspasser, the military was calling it. Like it was nothing more than an inconvenient street punk spraying graffiti on someone's garage instead of this horror, this _monster_ that had ripped apart his entire life. He'd received no reply to the numerous texts he'd sent to his father, and even though he knew, somehow, that his efforts were futile, he still kept sending messages until they started bouncing back, his father's phone out of range or out of service.

Larry refilled Ben's glass again before emptying the bottle into his own and knocking it back. "You can stay here as long as you need to," he said quietly, and Ben turned his eyes away from the TV for what seemed like the first time in hours.

"Thank you," he managed, voice breaking on the words.

~~~

Angie never went back to San Francisco. Ben returned in December, after the area had been declared safe from nuclear contamination from the blast in Oakland that had finally taken down the beast. San Francisco was nothing like the city he'd grown up in, and despite the State's promises of relief money, Ben already knew he couldn't stay. Downtown San Francisco was decimated, the Bay Bridge broken into pieces, and almost nothing remained of the once proud towers of the Golden Gate Bridge.

In an empty daze, Ben quietly signed the paperwork to secure his father's estate and insurance payout, and put their house in Daly City on the market. Then he packed the back of the Lucky Strike with the few keepsakes and valuables he and Angie needed and drove away without looking back.

~~~

They stayed in Boulder for two years, because they were already there, and staying meant one more decision that Ben didn't have to make. Going back to San Francisco was out of the question, and even if they had, everyone they'd known had scattered to the winds after the first monster - Kaiju - attack.

Scattered, or died.

It was a reality his mind shied away from. There were people he should have looked for - friends, classmates, his old high school girlfriend - but if he looked, he'd have to acknowledge their deaths. It was easier to live in ignorance, to hold to the image in his minds eye of San Francisco in the sun, the sea shining around it and the grand orange towers of the Golden Gate Bridge standing tall. It was easier to think of their father - 

Well.

They saw Larry often, because even though it made Ben think back to the weekend of the attack on San Francisco more than he wanted, he still liked the guy. Larry was a calm constant and quickly became a good friend. If Ben found himself thinking on the other man's rugged handsomeness more often than was strictly friendly, well, he kept that to himself. Larry got him an interview with his security firm, and soon Ben was making enough to rent a small apartment for the two of them in downtown Boulder without dipping into the insurance settlement or the money from the house. The house, thankfully, sold shortly after the second Kaiju attack in Manilla; well below what had once been its market value, but better than not at all. Ben couldn't imagine why anyone would choose to live anywhere close to San Francisco now. They had been lucky - or, if not lucky, then at least fortunate - to live in the area of the first Kaiju attack. After the third attack in Mexico insurance companies stopped paying out claims related to Kaiju damage and deaths. They classified it an "Act of God." Ben classified them full of shit.

He and Angie both agreed to keep the money tucked away. The world was changing, and nothing felt safe anymore.

When she turned eighteen, Angie picked up a retail job at a sporting goods store. He continued training with her, with almost the same frequency and intensity as when she was competing, though she never mentioned competing again. Training was the other constant between them, something to focus on, to channel all the loss and pain and rage into. 

"You coming to the gym?" Larry cast him a glance and a smile as he tucked his walkie into the charger in the security office at work after shift. It was late, but Ben found he didn't mind the hours, and being on shift with Larry more often than not was a guarantee of good company and conversation.

Ben smiled and shook his head. "Nah. Angie's stuck doing inventory tonight, she'll be home too late."

"Forget about your sister, Ben. Training doesn't always have to be about Angie. You have your gear in the back of your jeep, right? Just come out. Come spar with me, I want to see how good you really are."

"You'll kick my ass," Ben replied, though the idea had merit. "And you've already seen me fight."

"I've seen you fight your sister. You can't tell me that's all you've got." Larry's eyes sparkled with good humor, his smile challenging. "You know you want to."

"You're on," Ben replied, mind already preparing to fight, liking the idea more and more.

The gym, happily, was open twenty-four hours, which was why Larry'd picked it originally and why Ben had bought into it. They stripped down in the locker room, bantering playfully as they changed into shorts and protective gear. In a real competitive fight they'd only use gloves and a cup, foregoing the helmet and shin pads to be lighter, less restricted. But for practice it was ideal, allow him to stretch himself, to go hard without pulling any punches.

The gym was empty save a handful of individual fighters using the punching bags or free weights. After warming up they claimed a corner and a timer, circling each other on the mats at first, unhurried and unworried about the flow of time. The first two rounds in a Muay Thai match were more of a game than a fight, a ceremony, a dance in which your goal was to get inside the head of your opponent. To read them, to learn to predict them and to formulate your strategy. Larry's eyes held his as they moved, a smile playing at the corners of his generous mouth, gaze hardly breaking from his as he moved in suddenly with a powerful kick that Ben only just managed to dodge.

They threw a few punches in the first two rounds, testing each other, grappling and pulling apart. Ben's attention focused, the rest of the room melting away. Nothing existed but Larry, nothing existed but the fight.

He'd watched Larry fight many times, but experiencing it was a different matter. He was controlled, compact, the difference in height almost forgettable until he struck out and the additional few inches in a punch or kick made it difficult to dodge. Ben's size gave him an advantage in a clinch, though, made it easier to break away from his hold and turn the tables, shin connecting with Larry's ass to kick him off balance.

It was a good match, Ben found himself thinking, before nearly getting the wind knocked out of him with a powerful blow. But with pain came adrenaline, and the elation of being able to really fight, to let training and instinct combine, heart pounding and blood rushing as they fought.

When the timer for the final round dinged he spit out his mouth guard and let himself drop to his knees on the mats, panting and exhausted "I think this one's yours, my friend."

"Don't be too sure about that." Larry dropped down beside him and flopped back spread eagle, giving him a grin that looked tired, but satisfied. "I'm beat. You're good."

" _You're_ good. I'm going to be black and blue for weeks."

"Rematch after that?" Larry's grin was hopeful now, and contagious, and for the first time since K-Day Ben felt like he actually wanted something. Like maybe a small piece of life could feel normal again.

"You're on."

~~~

Sparring with Larry, like training with Angie, ended up being a much needed piece of normalcy in Ben's world. An anchor in the storm of uncertainty the world was caught in. They were too far inland to be at high risk of a direct Kaiju attack, but everyone knew the world was at war. People continued their lives, but he could feel the fear in the air, the desperate need to act like the world hadn't turned upside-down.

Eight monsters, eight Kaiju had attacked. It wasn't going to end.

Over Christmas they stared at the giant robots - Jaegers, they were calling them - that were been put on parade. The internet was papered with instagram photos of Kaiju attacks, but even more photos of their carcasses. It was all propaganda, Ben reminded himself every time a news article came on. But sometimes he still felt that small flicker of hope. Maybe they could defend themselves. Even he had to admit that the Jaeger were impressive. Awe-inspiring.

"Are you happy here?" Angie asked him on New Years day, sprawled sideways across the armchair in their living room, her legs dangling over the edge. The TV played on in front of her on low volume, some shitty rom-com that apparently neither of them had been paying much attention to.

Ben was curled on half the couch and was on his third cup of orange juice, trying to shake off the hangover of New Year's Eve indulgence. It was helping, a little. "New Years resolution time, Ange?"

Angie glanced away. "Kind of, I guess."

The mass of blankets on the other side of the couch stirred, Larry's head emerging, auburn hair sticking up like straw. Ben hadn't seen any signs of life from it from him since he'd passed out there sometime in the wee hours of the morning. "You okay, kiddo?"

Angie's mouth twisted. "I'm not a kid." 

"You know I only call you that because you're adorable," Larry replied, stretching out his lanky frame and resting his heels on the coffee table. "What's bothering you?"

Angie let out a long breath. "I just... I feel like I'm not going anywhere here. After - after San Francisco I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless about everything. But I feel like I'm just going through the motions here. Those fucking monsters took everything from us and we're just sitting here doing nothing about it."

Ben drained the rest of his orange juice and tried to will away the bass drums pounding behind his temples. "And you think there's something we can do about it?"

He watched his sister turn to sit cross-legged on the armchair, drawing a deep breath. "We should become Jaeger pilots."

It took a moment to process what she was saying. "... Jaeger pilots? Ange, we're not in the air force, we don't have a hope in hell of ever getting near one of those things, let alone - "

"No, we do!" Angie leaned forward, blue eyes wide. "There was a recruiter at the gym last week from the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. He gave me some info, I'll show it to you. It's not about being army or whatever, it's about this mental thing called Drift Compatibility. They're really interested in people with extensive experience with Muay Thai or Krav Maga, especially family members. They're doing testing in Denver at the beginning of February."

Ben lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "So I have until February to think about this?"

"Don't think. Just do it! Ben, this could be our chance to really make a difference. You always used to want to be a cop like Dad - "

"I don't want to talk about Dad - "

"Well neither do I but I don't think that's what Dad would want. Dad wouldn't want us to just sit here in dead end jobs pretending like nothing happened. Dad would want us to fight!"

He covered both hands with his eyes, letting out a long breath in a soft groan. "Ange, I'm hungover right now. Very hungover. I said I'd think about it."

"I'm game."

Ben twisted to look over at Larry, who was watching him quietly from the other end of the couch. "You're on this Jaeger bandwagon, too?"

He shrugged. "Why not? Seems like as good a resolution as any. Angie's right, we're not doing anything here. Even if I put in my application to the PD, what difference is one more cop gonna make? Maybe we can help protect people from those things. Do something that's actually useful with the fighting skills we've worked so hard to develop."

Angie added her voice. "Come on, Ben. I need to do this, and I won't do it without you. Please."

"Fuck you both for ganging up on me." Ben let out another long sigh, holding his sister's hopeful gaze as he did. "Fine, I'll come do this brain test thing with you."

Six months later they'd moved to Alaska, of all places, with Larry and about three dozen other hopeful Jaeger pilots. The Jaeger were more like giant armoured suits, an exoskeleton that allowed a pair of pilots to fight a Kaiju on equal footing. But it was too taxing for one mind to handle alone; pilots needed to bond together through the Drift, two minds inside each other, working as one. The stronger the bond, the better a Jaeger could fight.

He spent the majority of his days in drills and lessons in wrestling and Krav Maga and a number of other fighting techniques that he had to somehow make jive with the ingrained techniques of Muay Thai. It was grueling, and too fucking cold outside to go anywhere else, but it felt good. It was like all the sparks of life he'd felt fighting with Larry and all the grounding realness of his relationship with his sister, all mixed together into a renewed sense of purpose he hadn't even known he was looking for.

Angie had been right... they'd mourned long enough. Now it was time to try and make a difference.

~~~


	2. Drifting

It took almost two years before Marshal Lightcap cleared the Carson team for their final phase of training. Two years of training, of sparring, of learning to read and predict and anticipate each others movements. Two years of testing, of fighting Kaiju in the Jaeger simulator, of learning to control the rush of terror and adrenaline and fight.

Between the two of them, they'd killed 98 simulated Kaiju of 104. it wasn't perfect, but it was as high a success rate as some of the pilot teams in the field. Ben was certain that once they start fighting together they'll be perfect.

All that remained was to Drift.

Angie paced along the hallway outside the Drivesuit room, boots scuffing against the floor. She was a far cry from the girl he grew up with, who loved fashion and shopping almost as much as she loved to fight. The war had changed them all. But she was still Angie underneath - spirited, driven, hopeful. And as much as part of him wanted to lock her far away from the Kaiju and keep her safe for always, he knew that the best way to protect her was to let her use her passion and fight.

"We'll be fine," he told her as she passed him again, as much to reassure himself as to comfort her. "We're ready for this."

Angie turned to face him, laughing softly before letting out a long breath. "God, I hope so. You're going to be inside my head. That's not exactly something you can prepare for. It's gonna be weird, Ben."

He reached out to take her hand, squeezing it reassuringly and tugging her closer. "It'll be fine, you know it will. We wouldn't be here if we weren't ready."

"Maybe Angie's full of deep dark secrets she didn't want you to know." Larry had managed permission to escape training and watch the test, his presence reassuring, smile teasing.

"Could be." Ben glanced down to give his sister a grin. "Confession time. Last chance."

"Oh. Well..." Angie paused for a moment, then the words come in a rush. "When you were in grade twelve I borrowed your leather jacket when I snuck out to go biking with Brad and I scuffed the arm and had to try and fix it with shoe polish and I'm really, really sorry."

Ben couldn't help but laugh. "Well, if it made you feel better I pulled the head off your favorite Barbie when you were six."

That earned him a punch in the arm and Angie's laughter. "You beast! You blamed that on Sasha!"

"Of course I did. That's what dogs are for." He pulled her close impulsively, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Don't be nervous, Ange. This won't change us, we'll just be more in tune."

"I know, I know. And I'm not nervous, asshole."

The door to the Drivesuit room opened before he could reply, Marshal Caitlin Lightcap, head of the Jaeger Academy, in the doorway. She was the one who had first applied the mental bridging technology to Jaeger piloting, and was always present to guide all the trainees through their first Drift. She beckoned them forward. "We're ready for you two, whenever you are."

Ben followed his sister into the room and sat down beside her on the bench near the back of the room, trying to push away the shiver of nervousness in the pit of his stomach. The Neural Bridge Operator and one of the other techs started hooking them up to the Pons, the strange crown of metal and circuitry and wires that would bridge them together. There was no Jaeger yet, and wouldn't be until they were used to this. There was too much stimulation in the first Drift, it was too easy to be distracted by memories before you learned how to control the Drift. To accept it.

Marshal Lightcap gave them a warm smile, and Ben found it encouraging. She was the expert, after all. The first person to Drift with another. Everything would be fine.. "Ranger trainees, prepare for Neural Handshake."

The Neural Bridge Operator started counting. "In fifteen, fourteen...."

Angie glanced over at him, a nervous excitement in her smile, and Ben reached between them to squeeze her hand again.

"Three, two...."

"Neural Handshake Initiated."

For a moment, the world around him went completely blank. Then he was inundated by a stream of images, memories that were familiar and things that he hadn't even known he has forgotten alongside things he had never seen before now. 

He saw his mother's face suddenly, cheeks hollowed and bruised, her frail body propped up by pillows. "Promise you'll be a good big brother. Watch over Angie for me," she said, stroking his cheek, and Ben pushed his memory away as pain blossomed bright in his heart. Not that, he didn't want to relive that again.

He heard Angie sob suddenly, and saw her curled alone on the bed on Larry's guest room. She was shaking, clutching her cell phone, and the picture on the screen was the two of them, standing with their father the night of Angie's junior prom. But their father was dead, and San Francisco was gone, and nothing could ever bring that back - 

"Take your attention away from that R.A.B.I.T." Marshal Lightcap's voice broke through the memory, and Ben struggled to turn his attention to her, to sharpen his thoughts and focus his vision. He was aware of the control room again, but he was seeing double. Sounds and voices feel like they're coming from two places at once, and he couldn't shake the disorientation - 

"Don't fight the connection," Lightcap urged, voice low and calm. "Focus on your breath. Silence your thoughts and everything will become calm and clear."

Suddenly it was. The world focused into a sharp, crystal clarity, and he felt his mind expand, felt more completely aware of the world around him than he was ever felt before. He was still Ben, but he could feel the warm security that was Angie, feel a wholeness between them. He'd expected that this would be strange, alien and invasive, but it was completely the opposite. He felt strong and reassured and confident, all his nervousness and insecurity washing away.

Ben reached out towards Angie with a thought, a shiver of happiness, relief, triumph. He felt her respond in kind, and the merger that was both of them smiled in unison.

"Neural handshake strong and holding."

"Good." Lightcap sounded pleased - or perhaps that was just their own happiness reflecting in everything around them. They took in the room, two sets of eyes understanding twice as much data: the displays, the techs, Marshal Lightcap. Ben met Larry's gaze where he stood tucked up against the wall, watching them with a soft, wondering smile. They returned it, feeling a sudden fondness and affection for their friend that was amplified as much as their other senses.

"Initiate Calibration," Marshal Lightcap commanded, and they stood in fluid unison, completing the familiar steps from the Jaeger simulator. Step forward and lock the right foot, then the left. Straighten the spine, turn the head 90 degrees left, then right, lift the arms. Bring the hands together, fist to palm. He felt Angie's connect at the same instant his did, but they hadn't even had to try. It was effortless, instinctual.

"Good. Rangers trainees, the key to a successful drift is awareness - of yourself, your partner, the whole that you form and the moment you are in. Keeping your focus will keep your head in the mission, will allow you to pilot successfully...."

Ben felt a soft buzzing in the back of his mind, and as he turned his attention to investigate, Angie's memories swim into view - watching shaky, internet video clips of the Chinese Jaeger, Horizon Brave, fighting a Kaiju amidst the crumbling skyscrapers of Hong Kong. He felt her anger, white hot, her hatred, determination - 

_'Pay attention,' _he urged, as much to try and clear his own mind. He felt her attention follow, just as Lightcap chideed them.__

__"Here and now, Trainees. left those rabbits alone. You're almost done for today. But I want you to waltz for me."_ _

__Almost done? The disappointment he felt was as much from him as Angie. Still, he turned to her, holding out a hand, pulling her into the steps of the dance. Moving individually didn't lessen the connection; if anything it heightend their awareness of each other. The whole of them greater than the sum of the parts. He had never been an accomplished dancer, but Angie's memories filled in the blanks, and he lead almost without thinking, individual actions combined for the perfect union._ _

__"Disengaging Mental Handshake."_ _

__The sudden separation was jarring, but nothing could have prepared him for it. The rush of loss hit him like a blow, a soft cry of dismay escaping his lips as he stumbleed back towards the bench. One of the techs was already at Angie's side, helping steady her, removing the Pons. He couldn't do anything but stand frozen as the Neural Bridge operator disengaged the Pons from his own head. His whole body was trembling, overwhelmed by the ache. He'd expected to go back to normal, but this - this felt like part of him had been ripped away. The completion that was Angie was an empty hole in his mind, and he looked over to her helplessly to find her blinking back tears that he couldn't feel._ _

__Ben started at Marshal Lightcap's hand on his shoulder, urging him to move towards Angie. Her voice remained calm and soothing, a point of focus in the midst of his overwhelming loss. "I know it hurts. Your bond is strong. It will be easier if you touch."_ _

__Angie gave a whimpered sigh of relief as Ben pulled her against him without hesitation, nestling her face into his chest, her arms tight around his waist. Ben closed his eyes for a moment and stroked his fingers over her hair, and blessedly, the emptiness lessened. it wasn't the same as Drifting together, but he could feel little tugs at his mind that mean _Angie_ , feel her warmth and her presence again._ _

__He looked up at Lightcap. "It didn't go away?"_ _

__"Not completely, no." Lightcap's smile was soft and understanding, and perhaps a little wistful. "But it's like Drifting, it's determined by your compatibility and the strength of your bond. Stay together for the next hour or two and your minds will settle, the hangover will fade. Leaving the Drift becomes less jarring with experience."_ _

__"We did well, then?"_ _

__"Exceptionally." Lightcap had never been exceptionally stern, but her extra softness towards them now was appreciated. She had been through this, Ben realized suddenly. She understood._ _

__"We've started work on a second Shatterdome in Los Angeles," Lightcap continued, holding his gaze seriously. "It will be Gipsy Danger's home base as soon as she was launched. We'd like to transfer the two of you there, with Mister Byrne as your third, he was the next most compatible trainee with both of you. And we're building another Mach 3 there, to support Gipsy. When you're finished your Drift training you'll be her primary flight crew."_ _

__Ben felt elation from Angie, validation. From himself came only relief. "Thank you, Marshal. We'll be ready."_ _

__Angie lifted her head, a little more at ease in his embrace. "What's her name?"_ _

__"Her name?"_ _

__"The new Jaeger. Our Jaeger."_ _

__Marshal Lightcap stepped back, contemplating Angie with a curious smile. "What do you think her name should be?"_ _

__"Lucky Strike," Angie answered immediately for both of them, and if Lightcap found it strange that they'd asked to name her after a brand of cigarettes she didn't show it._ _

__"Lucky Strike. Well, Rangers Carson... I'll see what I can do."_ _

__~~~_ _

__

__Drift training ended up being both the most challenging and exhilarating thing they'd done yet, and as the opening of the Los Angeles Shatterdome approached Ben began to feel like he could actually do this. That they could pilot their new Jaeger, that they could fight together._ _

__Still, he was glad that Larry was coming with them. They trained together often, like they had before they'd gotten into the Academy. It was encouraged, even for pairs as well matched as Ben and Angie were, to get experience with other ranger-trainees. He liked training with Larry, and it reassured him that if for whatever reason he couldn't pilot with Angie that he'd at least had a co-pilot that he knew and cared for._ _

__"Are you going to start drift training before we leave for Los Angeles?"_ _

__They'd spent the morning doing drills together. Larry turned from his locker in the change room to look at him, one hand rubbing a towel through freshly washed hair. "I want to. hadn't really pinned down a co-pilot yet, though."_ _

__Ben shrugged, pulling on clean boxers and cargo pants. "Why not learn to drift with me?"_ _

__For a moment Larry just stared at him. "You had Angie."_ _

__"Yeah, and the Marshall wanted you to be our third. Probably a good idea to learn how to Drift. I hear it's easier when your co-pilot has experience already."_ _

__"Yeah, but we're not..." Larry hesitated, suddenly awkward. " _...family_ ," he finished, though the word came out delayed and uncertain._ _

__"Pilot teams aren't always family. Other people can be drift compatible." It wa true, though the fact that most unrelated pilots were or soon ended up being married couples was something Ben chose not to dwell on. "I mean, There are regular guys like us that fight. Horizon Brave and Diablo Intercept both have unrelated pilot teams."_ _

__Larry forced a laugh as he pulled his shirt on, still obviously uncomfortable. "I don't know about that, Diablo's team seemed pretty... _friendly_ when I met them."_ _

__Ben was shocked by the sudden display of homophobia, and he tried to respond appropriately. "Yeah, okay, maybe, but what pilots do behind closed doors is their business, right? Don't ask, don't tell and all that?"_ _

__"... yeah," Larry's voice was still stiff and measured, his laugh forced. "Guess I'll just had to find myself a wife."_ _

__Ben tried to push aside the strange feeling of disappointment, reaching out to pat his shoulder. "Teach one of those pretty little Jaeger-flies to fight, right?"_ _

__Larry snorted, thankfully relaxing a little more. "Groupies don't really do it for me. I'll leave that for you."_ _

__"They're not so bad. I've had a couple of drunken fumbles, but it's kind of weird when you know your little sister's going to be sharing your brain the day after."_ _

__That earned Ben a real laugh, thank god, and the easy grin he was used to. "Maybe I should be glad I'm not piloting with family. And I suppose you get an eyeful in return?"_ _

__Ben hadn't been as bothered as he should have been by the flickers of memories he'd gained from Angie. His sister, while not particularly promiscuous, had good taste at least, tending towards tall, broad-shouldered men, and part of Ben rather wished it were easier to discreetly find a male Jaeger-fly who was into men. "I had to promise never to razz her boyfriends or conquests about anything, ever. I thought it would be a hard promise to keep, but I think knowing that we drift together makes them more well behaved."_ _

__"I'd be too terrified of you to ever harm a hair on her head," Larry agreed, pulling his shirt on over his head and shouldering his locker shut._ _

__The idea of Larry and Angie being together made Ben pause, the implications of it running through him in a rush of heat. While Angie's memories always brushed at the back of his mind, he generally shied away from actively trying to access them, and he immediately knew that if she ever slept with Larry he wouldn't be able to help himself. His mind was already substituting Larry in place of the last guy his sister had been with, and he pushed the thought away firmly, responding with teasing instead. "You into my baby sister, Lar?"_ _

__"Oh god no." Larry's laugh was nervous, which made Ben wonder if he wasn't completely telling the truth. "No no, I don't date people who weren't legal when I met them."_ _

__"I won't mind if you change your mind." The words came out before Ben could stop himself, and he immediately tried to convince himself that he wasn't just saying it for completely selfish reasons. He'd had impure thoughts about Larry far too many times to control them now, and he couldn't shake the guilty, devious thought that if Larry wasn't interested in men then at least being interested in Angie was the next best thing. "Anyway, we do really need to do drift training together sometime." Just not today. Not until he'd had a chance to had a good wank and carefully push all the tantalizing, inappropriate thoughts he was having about his friend completely and safely out of his mind._ _

__"I know," Larry replied. "We train well together, it should be fine. But can we please go get some lunch now before my stomach eats itself?"_ _

__"Sure." Ben fell into step with him as they left the locker room, though he couldn't push away the sudden uncertainty that perhaps he shouldn't have suggested drift training at all._ _

__~~~_ _

__He had drift training with Angie that afternoon, and after they went to Angie's room to wind down, because it was marginally closer than his. The more they did it, the less it hurt to stop, but it was still jarring. They needed at least an hour after drifting to come back to full functionality. But it felt good to curl together in Angie's bunk, arms wrapped around his sister as she snuggled her face into his chest, their legs tangled together. It was nice to close his eyes and let his mind drift, let his memories sort themselves back into what's him and what's Angie._ _

__Something tuged at his attention today, though, a memory too fresh and familiar to ignore. Because Angie had been here, last night, with someone else. For a moment her memories blurred and overlapped with his, and he couldn't quite figure out what had happened. Then it became clear._ _

__"You slept with Amy Rodriguez?"_ _

__Angie stirred in his arms, stretching against him as if rousing herself from a doze. "Yup. It was fun."_ _

__He'd never contemplated the possibility of his sister playing for the other team before. "Yeah, but... Amy Rodriguez?" It wasn't that he hadn't liked the girl, he genuinely liked everyone he'd gone to bed with. They'd hooked up a month ago when she'd first visited the Academy as a reporter for some magazine, but after he'd gone to bed with her, he realized that it was all about the pilot status. She was definitely one of the more infatuated Jaeger flies he'd met...._ _

__Angie laughed against his chest, low and apparently very pleased with herself. "I wanted to see what she was like in bed."_ _

__"And you didn't know from my experience?"_ _

__Another chuckle. "I knew what it was like for _you_ to fuck her. I wanted the experience for myself." She raised her head, blue eyes meeting his. "Don't tell me you're jealous. It's been ages since you guys hooked up."_ _

__"Not jealous," Ben reassured quickly. "I just... it's unexpected."_ _

__Angie quirked an eyebrow. "You'd rather pimp me out to Larry?"_ _

__"Oh god." Ben closed his eyes, as if the lack of visual connection could take back his memories of that conversation from her. "You weren't supposed to eavesdrop on that."_ _

__"Then you shouldn't have been thinking about it so hard," Angie replied, sounding far too amused. "I don't think _I'm_ really the one you want to pimp out to him, am I?"_ _

__"You've been inside my head way too much." Ben shifted to nestle his face against her hair again. "I guess we've both made each other a little more bisexual."_ _

__"Or just more comfortable with existing urges," Angie agreed. "You going to say something to him?"_ _

__"No. He's not into it."_ _

__"Hmmm." Angie's fingertips moved over his chest idly. "He might figure it out once you drift together."_ _

__"It'll be fine. I'm not that obsessed, I had a trillion other memories to share with him."_ _

__"Okay," Angie replied after a moment, moving to press a soft kiss to the hollow of his throat. "Just be careful, okay?"_ _

__~~~_ _

__Be careful, he reminded himself two days later as he watched one of the techs adjust the Pons on Larry's head. His own were cool against his skin, and even though he'd done this dozens of times with Angie, Ben couldn't help but feel nervous._ _

__Stay calm, he told himself firmly. He just needed to focus and keep his mind clear. That was what made for a good drift anyway, right? The mission would always be the important thing, not the trivial details like his memory of dinner yesterday or the fact that Larry was one of many men in the world that he found attractive._ _

__Marshall Lightcap's voice was warm, and Ben let himself focus and take comfort on the familiarity of the bridging process. "Trainees. Prepare for Neural Handshake."_ _

__"Initiating Neural Handshake in fifteen, fourteen...."_ _

__Beside him, Larry was still tense, and his smile shaky and forced when Ben looked over at him._ _

__"We'll be fine," he told him. Larry just drew a sharp breath and nodded._ _

__"Neural Handshake Initiated."_ _

__Ben felt the familiar blankness, followed by the rush of information, of connection. It felt different than with Angie, but not bad. He saw flashes of imagery: Larry as a child with a tall, beautiful red-haired woman that looked and smiles very much like him. His mother, he came to understand, though she was far more beautiful and vibrant here than any of the photos he was seen. There was a brief flicker of a man, accompanied by a strong surge of resentment, and the memory was pushed away._ _

__He saw himself and Angie next in Larry's memories, then felt a sudden hardness, a strange emptiness that shouldn't be there. He tried to reach for Larry with his mind, but it felt awkward somehow. Wrong. He could feel a surge of panic from his partner through the bridge, and he tried to reassure him. _Don't fight it. Things will fall into place.__ _

__"They're out of alignment." The voice of the Neural Bridge Operator broke through, but when Ben tried to bring his attention to him he found he couldn't see straight, the world swimming, disorienting. He could hear the tones of Marshal Lightcap's voice trying to guide them, but he couldn't manage to understand or focus on that, either._ _

__Ben closed his eyes instead, reaching out again, trying to connect with Larry. _Don't think, just listen to me. Focus on me and let your mind be still. We're almost there....__ _

__"I can't!"_ _

__A sharp rush of pain slammed into him, the world coming back to him in painful intensity. He realized that Larry had ripped off the Pons, throwing himself off the bench and trying to scoot away. He tried to catch his breath, to talk, but having the Drift ripped away from him left him feeling raw and overwhelmed._ _

__"I'm sorry," Larry gasped the words over again as Marshall Lightcap helped him to his feet, her voice low and soothing. She urged Larry towards the door to the room with a hand at the small of his back. Ben tried to follow his gaze through the techs that were fussing over him, tried to understand what had just happened and how they could have failed._ _

__Larry's eyes flicked to his, red-rimmed and full of guilt. Then he was gone._ _

__~~~_ _

__After the failed attempt at Drifting he didn't see Larry for days. He tried to write it off as coincidence - the failed attempt left him down with a migraine for twenty-four hours, and they both had busy schedules, after all - but it didn't feel that way. Then he showed up for simulator training to find Larry in a session, piloting with a trainee from the class a year behind them. Their movement was merged perfection in the Drift._ _

__Ben tried to push aside a surge of jealousy as he watched them disengage from the session. He'd trained with the newcomer a few times - a tall, lanky girl with piercing green eyes, her dark hair cut tomboyishly short - but he didn't know her well. Jo Murray, his memory supplied. He couldn't help but wonder if they were sleeping together, but he couldn't tell if their easy closeness was from love or just the after-effects of the drift._ _

__"I've assigned Josephine to Los Angeles with you." Marshall Lightcap told him, keeping her gaze fixed on the other pilots. "She's the top of her class. She'll be Larry's copilot."_ _

__"I thought Larry was going to be our third," Ben said before he could stop himself, hating the fact that Lightcap won't quite meet his gaze._ _

__"You'll continue training towards that," she replied carefully. "For now it's more prudent to had a reserve team of pilots who are more...."_ _

__"Compatible?" Ben supplied, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Angie slipped a hand into his, but he pushed away the concern he could feel from her._ _

__"Consistent," Lightcap corrected, turning to him. There was a strange emotion in her eyes that Ben thought might be pity, and it only made him angrier. "It will be easier for all of you to train with just one partner. Once you had more practical experience under your belt it will be easier to adapt to drifting with someone less... familiar to you than Angie."_ _

__He is familiar to me, Ben wanted to say, because he'd always felt like Larry was the closest thing he had to a best friend here. Instead he smiled at the other pilots as they left the simulator. "You guys looked good in there."_ _

__Jo grinned, her arm looped lazily around Larry's waist. "Thanks. It's a crazy rush, isn't it? I'm stoked to be going to LA with you guys, it's going to be amazing."_ _

__"Yeah." Ben tried to catch Larry's gaze, trying to ignore that Larry hadn't looked at him once. "Hey, we should celebrate before we head out. have a drink with the other trainees. What do you think, Lar?"_ _

__Larry's eyes met his for a moment, then darted away. "Yeah, of course. I'll catch you at lunch tomorrow, we can make plans."_ _

__"Sure," Ben replied, though he wasn't, and as he watched them left the room together the loss that he felt was almost as poignant as when he and Angie would break from the Drift._ _

__When Larry failed to materialize in the mess hall the next day it hurt, but he was unsurprised._ _

__~~~_ _


	3. Yamarashi

After spending so long on Kodiak island, Los Angeles was a whole different world. He'd been worried, at first, that it would remind him too much of home. Everything seemed bigger in LA, though, grander, more over the top. The ocean and the heat were the only things that were familiar, but the familiarity felt good. It felt right, to be in LA. To be protecting California.

The government made a huge deal about the opening of the new Shatterdome and the arrival of Gipsy Danger, parading them around in drive suits that they'd only worn in simulators, acting like they were already heroes. Gipsy's pilots, Yancy and Raleigh Becket, were blond and handsome and arrogant, and Ben wasn't quite sure if the flicker of attraction he felt is from Angie or himself. Gipsy's pilots were scrappy brawlers who came into the Jaeger Academy without any of the disciplined training he and Angie had, but he respected them for their fearlessness. The Beckets soaked in the attention, playing the rock stars perfectly despite having no more live combat experience than Ben and Angie. Ben didn't mind so much. He wasn't in this for the attention.

Lucky Strike was just a frame when the Shatterdome opened, but she was still the most amazing thing Ben has ever seen. She was tall and bold, built like Gipsy for both strength and agility. Colossal. The thought of piloting her sent a rush of excitement through his veins.

After a week in LA, Ben finally managed to catch Larry alone in the locker room. "Hey... what's going on with you? I know some guys drop off the face of the planet when they get a new girlfriend, but this is kind of ridiculous."

Larry shook his head, giving a soft, slightly uncomfortable laugh. "Oh god. Jo's not my girlfriend."

"Then why have you been avoiding me like the plague?"

His friend glanced away from him, looking even more guilty. "Ben...."

Ben sighed, reaching to lay a hand on his shoulder, and was encouraged when he didn't pull away. "Look, I'm sorry I pushed you into Drift training. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"No. No, I - I needed the push. I wouldn't have started working with Jo otherwise. I'm just... having a hard time getting over disappointing you."

It was completely the opposite of what Ben had expected, and he could only stare blankly. "You didn't - "

"I did, and I disappointed myself." Larry's generous mouth pursed, pinched. He turned to lean back against the lockers with a sigh. "I know you want us to be able to Drift together and it's not that I don't want that, I just... didn't realize how vulnerable it would feel. It was easy to Drift with Jo because she didn't have any expectations of me."

Ben shook his head. "Lar, I don't - "

"You do," Larry interrupted gently. "That's what I saw when we tried. You have this amazing image of me in your mind, like I'm this unwavering source of stability and security. I got a bit freaked out by the thought of that changing after we'd shared a brain. I like you, Ben. I like being friends with you. I didn't want that to change."

Ben let out a long breath. Larry looked so earnest and vulnerable at the same time that he couldn't bring himself to argue. "Okay. Alright, I understand. I'm sorry. But Lar... it was gonna be hard to be friends if you keep avoiding me."

Larry's smile was sheepish. "I know. I just needed a bit of time to sort myself out. Thank you for giving that to me."

He'd given Ben a lot to think about, but the conversation could have gone a lot worse. Maybe they could just go back to the way things used to be. "Does that mean we're good now?"

"I hope so?" Larry straightened, smile becoming more hopeful. "Drinks when you're not on call?"

"I'm done at eleven."

"Deal."

~~~~

Ben fell more and more in love with Lucky Strike the closer she got to completion. She was built like Gipsy and the other new Mach three Jaegers, but weaponized to take full advantage of their Muay Thai background. Her shins and elbows were equipped with retractable fins that will be edged with diamond-tipped cutting chains when she was completed, which would hopefully be as deadly in a fight with a Kaiju as Ben imagines they'd be in a Muay Thai fight.

Her logo sat high on the right panel of her chest. Like Gipsy's, she was a 40's style pinup girl painted over a red target, but blond and sporty next to Gipsy's femme fatale. "Like Betty and Veronica," one of the engineers remarked to him one day, which validated the thoughts Angie had been having for weeks.

As soon as their Jaeger was mobile, the Shatterdome's Marshall, Lora Keeley, booked time for regular test runs in her construction schedule. It took them some training to get used to her size and balance, how she moved and responded. She wasn't quite as quick and flexible as a human body, of course, but they adjusted, and the feeling of the sheer power under their control was almost as much of a rush as fighting or Drifting.

The places the Kaiju chose to make landfall were seemingly random, and Ben could only hope that both they and the Lucky Strike would be ready by the time they were finally needed in the field. Still, they were always a little more relaxed after a Kaiju attack. PPDC was starting to refer to the six weeks after an attack as the Halcyon Days, time for everyone to focus on their training and well being, enjoy some leave and make sure all the Jaegers were in top condition.

The call that came into his room just before midnight blindsided him completely. "Yeah?

The voice on the other end of the phone didn't mince words. "Carson, you're being deployed. Get up to LOCCENT immediately."

Ben was already acting before his mind could question, pulling on a pair of cargo pants over his boxers and stuffing his feet into boots. But his mind was spinning. This had to be a drill of some kind, there was no way there could be another attack this soon....

The Shatterdome's Chief LOCCENT Officer, Bent Lassen, was already there when Ben arrived, briefing the Beckets as the techs helped them into their Drivesuits. He glanced up as Ben enters, giving him a grim nod in greeting. "We have a Kaiju headed for Los Angeles. Code name Yamarashi, class three. Approximately twenty minutes to landfall."

Ben felt a chill run through him. "Twenty minutes?" It took at least that long just to launch on a good day, they couldn't even hope to be out there in time "How the hell did it sneak up on us?"

"Peru was monitoring, the Kaiju was headed south. It changed course unexpectedly."

Yancy Becket shook his head. "I can't believe we're having another fucking event. We just had an attack three weeks ago, the Russians finished it off. This is impossible!"

"Try telling that to the Kaiju."

"Give us an update." Marshal Keeley stepped into the control room, with Larry following behind her. "How long before landfall?"

"20 minutes or less. This is a big motherfucker, Marshal, and he's swimming fast. Biggest class three we've seen."

"Shit. Beckets, get in the Conn-Pod. Bent, ready for the drop." The Marshal turns to look at Ben. "Carson, get suited up, you'll be supporting Gipsy."

"On it." Despite the thrill of nervousness he felt, the thought of finally going into combat after all their training was exhilarating. Ben started for the locker that held his circuit suit, glancing back towards the door. "Where the hell is Angie?"

"In Santa Monica with Jo." Larry hadn't moved from his spot near the door, mouth pinched in worry, and Ben felt his stomach drop down to his toes at the thought of his sister, alone and helpless in the city with a Kaiju headed straight towards them.

"We've sent armoured cars for them," Keeley said, as if sensing his worry. "But we don't have time to wait for them to get back. I need the two of you in Lucky Strike."

"Me and Larry?" Ben's pulse started to race. "We can't, we're not - I mean, we haven't even tried to Drift since the Academy. How the hell are we supposed to pilot together? And Lucky's weapons aren't finished, her armour's not even complete!"

Keeley moved to lay a hand on Ben's shoulder. "She can still fight. All you two have to do is support Gipsy. We can't risk sending them out alone, not with a Kaiju this big, not when you're all rookies. I need you two to fight for me."

Ben glanced over to find Larry pale, but his friend nodded, voice low. "Of course we'll fight."

"Of course," Ben echoed, and Keeley clapped him on the back.

"Good men," she said, starting towards her command console . "Get suited up. Seven minutes to the drop."

They stripped down in silence in the Drivesuit room, pulling on their circuitry suits as a veritable army of techs converged with the pieces of their Drivesuits. Ben stole a glance towards his friend, trying to get a read, but Larry's lips were drawn tight, his focus on the door that leads to the Conn-pods.

"Ben." Larry turned to him finally, and his fingers darted out to grab his wrist, painfully tight even through the circuitry suit. He looked more terrified than Ben had ever seen. "Ben, I have to - please - "

"You'll do great," he tried to reassure, like he would with Angie, even though he hadn't ever done this either, even though his own pulse was racing a mile a minute. "We'll be great. It'll be no different than working with Jo, no different from the simulators. Trust me."

He tried to put as much conviction behind the words as he could, but he was scared shitless, and he couldn't stop thinking about Angie. They _had_ to succeed, there was no other choice.

Larry swallowed hard, drawing and releasing a long breath, and he let go of Ben's wrist as the techs started fastening him into his drive suit. "Just promise me nothing will change."

"What?"

"After the Drift. Please."

Ben tried not to think about whether or not Larry would forgive his own indiscretions. He held his gaze and nodded. "Nothing will change for the worse. Not on my watch. I promise."

"Okay." He could still see the nervousness, but Larry schooled it into determination. "Then let's defend our city."

The techs fastened them into Lucky Strike's Conn-Pod with swift efficiency, and in moments Ben's stomach was in his throat as the pod shot down its shaft in near free-fall, slowing to couple onto the body of the Jaeger. He glanced over at Larry. "You doing okay?"

"I'm shitting myself," Larry replied with a tight grin and forced humor. "Not exactly how I imagined my first time in a Jaeger. Sorry."

Ben shook his head to dismiss the apology. For some reason he thought back to K-Day, to how supportive Larry had been to them both through the whole ordeal. "Don't be sorry. I've got this, okay? You just need to be my wingman."

"Got it."

Ben was only half paying attention to the combat reports through their com system. Yamarashi had made land, made matchsticks out of Queenway Bridge and was rampaging across Terminal Island as Gipsy tried to engage. The platform they were on moved them through the open doors of their hangar as the Jaeger's power core came online, and he could feel the power humming though the machinery.

They shuddered to a halt, and Lassen's voice came over the com. "Lucky Strike aligned and ready to launch. Rangers, prepare for neural handshake in fifteen."

Ben glanced over to his friend one more time, praying that this would work. "We'll be okay. Just don't fight the drift."

Larry nodded, mouth pinched. "I won't hold back," he replied, as the countdown reached zero and the world blanked around them.

The rush of the drift was as different from their last time as it could possibly be. He felt his mind connect with Larry's with a smooth certainty, thoughts and images rushing past him in a stream that was too fast to pick out any particular memory. Larry was completely open to him, and as the world began return in clarity, Ben became aware of a strange tug through his newfound connection, a feeling he couldn't ignore.

He opened himself up to it, and for a moment couldn't breathe. The emotion that rushed in was almost overwhelming - a mix of determination and fear, desire and embarrassment, loyalty and adoration and a deep, resounding love that took his breath away... and in Larry's mind, all of it was focused around _Ben_. But there was vulnerability, too, and acute worry and anguish, so Ben sent as much acceptance and reassurance back as he could. _'It's all right. You're amazing. You're perfect.'_

He felt a wave of relief almost as strong as the first crush of emotion, then Lassen's voice broke through.

"Concentrate, Rangers. Get yourselves into synch."

The words jerked Ben's attention back to the task at hand, to the familiar adjustment to the feel of being in control of the Jaeger. Finally everything clicked into place, and he smiled at Lassen's next words.

"Neural Handshake is strong and holding. Very strong."

"I told you," he couldn't help but murmur, and he felt Larry's joy just as much as heard his soft laugh. He reached to flick on the con. "Initiating Calibration."

They moved together strong and sure like he'd always imagined, always hoped they would. It felt certain and fluid, and the excitement of joining the fight buzzed in his stomach. The 'copters cabled to their Jaeger lifted the machine with a lurch, and they tuned back into the fight. "Lucky Strike calibrated and ready for duty."

"Welcome to the party!" They could hear one of the Beckets over the con. "This guy's a slippery bastard. Every time he gets back in the water we lose him. He swims too damn fast!"

Marshall Keeley spoke next. "We're moving Lucky Strike to hold the mouth of the river, if he gets past the port we'll never catch up with him. Lucky, if he gets in range unload your entire arsenal of missiles. I want this asshole obliterated."

"Roger," Ben replied, letting himself adjust to the Drift, extending his senses through Lucky's instruments. He wanted so badly to reach out to Larry, to explore this new truth that has come to light through the drift, and it took every ounce of self control to stay focused on the mission. But even focused, the Drift felt so good. With Angie, Drifting felt familiar. With Larry, he felt... complete.

The Beckets caught the Kaiju in a hold, dropping sideways to use the weight of the Jaeger to slam it into the ground. They got in a few good punches, but then Yamarashi squirmed free, rolling off the dock and into the water.

"Shit! Marshall, he's swimming again. Gonna follow this asshole!"

The Marshall's curse was almost as colourfully as theirs. "Lucky Strike, what's your status?"

"Almost into position," Ben replied, and Larry reached out to start engaging the missile systems before he even had to prompt mentally. "Arming air missiles."

"Good. Target is headed your way."

They disengaged at the mouth of the river, taking a wide guard stance, searching the sea in the bay for signs of the Kaiju. The stance still felt unnatural to Ben, when the goal of Muay Thai was to always make yourself as small a target as possible, but they would need to fire as soon as they were able to lock onto Yamarashi. The support 'copters circled them, powerful flood beams sweeping the water, reporting back the data that the Jaegers couldn't see.

"Lucky, we've got him headed your way," one of the Beckets said over the con. "Moving fast. Be ready."

"Kaiju signature five thousand feet and closing," Lassen added. "Gipsy, don't get too close."

They could see the swell of the sea, now, the rush of turbulence and bio-luminescence that was the Kaiju. It breached the water as the bay grows more shallow, but they were too focused to have time to feel fear. Ben swallowed. "Target locked, firing missiles."

The barrage of explosives and the rush of displaced water almost knocked them off their feet, the Kaiju's roar of pain a shrill ringing in their eardrums. Hurt, but still alive. How could it have survived that much firepower?

"Lucky - on your left!"

They barely had time to react before Yamarashi was on them, its mountainous bulk rising out of the water very much like its namesake, its eyes luminescing orange below its spiky crown of horns. Its hide was broken where the missiles had made contact, ragged and oozing toxic Kaiju blue. All they could do was react, blocking the beast's swing and trying to counter, the Jaeger's metal frame shuddering on impact, metal grating against itself as it tried to stand up against the attack.

With Lucky's weapons not fully integrated they could only brawl, throwing a flurry of blows and hoping the bipedal Kaiju was weak in the same areas a human would be. Then the Kaiju's claws connected with the only partially armoured leg of their Jaeger, ripping apart metal with a sickening screech and a shower of sparks. The damage fed back through their suits as searing heat, and he felt Larry's pain as much as he heard the grunt of discomfort beside him. They strained not to fall, to keep their feet under them, but the Kaiju whirled, powerful tail connecting with their legs to knock them off balance. Blindly, they grabbed for the tail as they fell, the Jaeger's hands connecting, digging into the Kaiju's damaged flesh, pulling and ripping - anything to keep it from disappearing up the river.

Yamarashi struggled, crowing, trying to shake them off, to turn and engage them. Somewhere underwater Lucky's sound leg connected with the river's flood walls, and they pushed back, bracing themselves and twisting, feeling the bones of the Kaiju's tail shudder under their hands and finally, finally rip away.

Yamarashi broke free and made a beeline back to Terminal Island, leaving them with its tail thrashing in their arms. Its gait was gangly and unsteady, but when they tried to move to pursue Lucky's leg gave out, sending them crashing back to the river.

"Lucky Strike, disengage," came the order from LOCCENT, just as Gipsy barreled past them towards the Kaiju.

"We've got this, Lucky. I'd like to see that fucker try and swim away from us now!"

"We can still fight - " Ben tried to argue, adrenaline hot in his veins from the fight. They dropped the now dead tail, carefully maneuvering their Jaeger back to her feet. "If we stay in the channels the water will help support her weight - "

"That's a negative, Lucky. Do not pursue." The Marshall's voice was strong, and they didn't dare argue. "Stay upright if you can. Choppers coming in to collect you now."

As much as the thought of leaving the fight before the job was done made his blood boil, Ben did as he was asked. Larry didn't like it any better than he did, but being in this with him made it easier. But then, he had always felt more stable with Larry. 

He felt a soft pulse of happiness in reply to his thought, and glanced over to find Larry watching him, his smile wondering. This is amazing, he found himself thinking. Or was it Larry? They're amazing together. He didn't want it to end.

He tried not to think about disengaging as they retuned to the Shatterdome, as the techs carefully maneuvered Lucky back into her service bay. "We'll do this again, right?" Larry's voice was low, and Ben could feel so much more behind his words - longing and relief and that powerful, beautiful love.

"Of course," he answered, because the only thing worse than the thought of losing this was not having it again. "We did good. We'll do it again."

Leaving the Drift hurt worse than it ever had with Angie, and Ben could barely function as the techs pulled them out of Lucky Strike and went to work on their Drivesuits. He was vaguely aware of the ongoing fight in the background, that Gipsy had taken down Yamarashi by beheading the massive giant, but all he could feel was the emptiness of Larry's loss and the need to get close to him again. He reached for him as soon as he could, catching Larry's hands and pulling him close, pressing his face to the crook of his neck despite the bits of Drivesuit they both still wore. Larry's hands clenched at his tightly, his body trembling. The techs had to tug their hands apart to get them out of their circuit suits, and it took every inch of self control Ben had not to pull Larry into a kiss in the middle of LOCCENT, to ravish his mouth just to try and crawl back into his skin.

"You did well out there," Marshall Keeley said, though Ben had hardly been aware she was there. "Don't worry about debrief, we'll take care of that in the morning. Your sister and Jo were secure. You're dismissed, Rangers, get dressed and go take care of that hangover."

"Thank you," he managed, pulling himself together enough to step away and tug Larry towards the lockers, trying to keep a hand on him as he pulled on his BDUs. Ben didn't bother pulling anything on over his undershirt; they were going to be naked as soon as he could help it anyway. He hooked an arm around Larry's waist. "Your bunk is closer."

Larry nodded, taking him out of LOCCENT with his arm over Ben's shoulders. Despite the anguish of losing the Drift connection Ben could feel the presence of his mind through their touch, feel pain and longing and that same vulnerability and nervousness he'd first felt in the Drift.

"We'll be fine," he murmured, pressing closer, the hand around Larry's waist stroking his stomach through the thin cotton of his undershirt.

Larry nodded, letting out a soft breath, and stopped to open the door to his berth.

As soon as the door was latched behind them Ben pulled him close, stroking his fingers up into thick auburn hair and leaning up to press his forehead against his. He could feel the warmth of his skin and the soft gasps of Larry's breath against his mouth, and it felt so good to be close again that for a moment Ben couldn't breathe.

Larry's hands moved to rest on his hips, clenching at the fabric of his cargos, his form shivering a little with each intake of breath. "Ben...."

"Shhh," Ben murmured, and closed the gap between their lips to claim a slow, gentle kiss from Larry's mouth. 

The contact was exquisite, everything he'd wanted for so long and more. It was the next best thing to drifting, and he moaned against his mouth as he sucked Larry's full lower lip between his, feeling like he'd do anything to get closer to him. Larry whimpered softly, pulling Ben's hips against his as his lips parted eagerly to the kiss, returning it with just as much hunger and yearning.

Then he stopped suddenly, bracing hands on Ben's shoulders to force him away. "Stop, stop. Oh god..."

The almost complete loss of contact was disorienting, and Ben tried to adjust, moving his hands to cover Larry's on his chest. "What's wrong?"

"Don't do this just for me," Larry answered, voice breaking. "I know this is just the Drift hangover, you know I want it, but you just need to be close - "

"What?" For a moment Ben could only stare at him, incredulous. "Weren't you just inside my head?"

Larry looked startled, then flushed. "Well, yes, but I - I didn't want to pry...."

"Pry now," Ben said softly, stepping forward and stroking his hands up to rest on Larry's shoulders. "Think back through my memories, they're yours now, too. Look at what I was worried about before we drifted or the last time we talked about dating, or - hell, look back to the day I met you. I'm from San Francisco, for god's sake." He lowered his voice, holding Larry's wide-eyed gaze. "This isn't the Drift hangover, and I'm not just doing it for you. I want it too."

As Larry's eyebrows furrowed in concentration Ben pressed close again, nuzzling along his jaw and relishing in the strength of Larry's body against his own. "You do want it," Larry breathed, incredulous. He whimpered, soft and helpless, then caught Ben's face with one hand and claimed his mouth again. There was no restraint this time, and the physical and emotional outpouring of desire hit Ben like a freight train. In moments he'd been pushed across the room, his back connecting with the wall by Larry's bed. He was already pulling at Larry's undershirt, returning his kisses with a touch of ferocity as he tried to get closer, mind trying to regain what they'd lost leaving the drift.

Clothes stripped away, he pushed Larry down onto his back on the bed, blanketing him with his body. The feel of Larry's body underneath his was heady and decadent: the warm expanse of his skin, the strength of well defined muscles, the hard length of his cock rubbing against Ben's as he wrapped his thighs around Ben's hips, grinding up against him with a breathless groan against his mouth.

"Fuck, Lar..." Ben let his mouth drop to his friend's neck, licking along the sinues and breathing deep. Larry smelled like musk and sex, with a slight metallic tang that Ben had come to associate with Lucky Strike, and he groaned, biting down on the firm roll of muscle between his neck and his shoulder, rocking his hips down against him.

Larry's fingers clenched in his hair, heels digging into the backs of his thighs. "Jesus Christ, don't stop. Oh god, Ben, please - I want, I need...."

Ben knew without asking, just like he knew where to find the bottle of lube in the drawer on the other side of the bed. He knew that nothing else would be enough right now, nothing else would satisfy the ache of loss and the need to act on desire so long restrained. He caught Larry's mouth again as he pressed against his side, kissing him long and deep and letting himself indulge in his lover's body for a moment. He cupped the base of Larry's thick cock with one hand, fingers curling around the shaft as he stroked him slowly. He loved the feel of this, the velvet smooth skin over rock hard flesh, loved the way it made Larry shudder and whimper into his mouth. "God, Ben...."

"So perfect," Ben murmured, because part of him still couldn't believe this was happening and that it had all worked out somehow. He moved lube slick fingers back to stroke his ass, working one inside him carefully and feeling the shiver of pleasure that ran through his lover as he pressed against his prostate.

Larry's fingers dug into his back, body shuddering, gasping as he pressed into the penetration. "Fuck, more. Need you so fucking bad you can't even - oh god - !"

Ben ghosted his lips along his jaw, and even though he could feel it, it was still incredibly hot to hear him say it. "I know, I know... gonna give you everything you want, love, have no idea how long I've wanted to, gonna fuck you so good...."

He was sure Larry knew, he must know, but Ben's words pulled a breathless, needy cry from his lips. Ben worked a third finger into him and twisted, rubbing up against his sweet spot again, drunk on his reactions and the mental feedback of pleasure. His breath trailed hot against Larry's neck, as he nuzzled up to claim his mouth again, grinding against his hip as he fingered him open. "Can't wait to be inside you...."

"Do it. I'm good, fuck, please...."

For a moment Ben was torn, caught between the desire for closeness and his growing addiction to the taste of Larry's mouth. But Larry was already moving, turning in his embrace to press back against him, grinding his firm ass against the hard length of Ben's cock. "Ben...."

He paused briefly to slick his cock, an agonizing moment of restraint. Then he moved close again, easing inside him in slow, careful thrusts as he pressed against Larry's back, arms tight around him and his face against to the curls of thick auburn hair at the back of Larry's neck. The sensation of being inside him was hot and tight and _perfect_ , and it wasn't like Drifting, but when he was buried to the hilt in his lover's body it almost felt like he was complete again.

He drew a shuddering breath against Larry's skin, pressing open-mouthed kissed to the back of his neck, just holding still and reveling in their closeness. "I love you," he murmured, even though he was sure that Larry could feel it, that it didn't need saying. But it felt good to verbalize. "God, I love you."

"Ben - !" His name was a gasp, but Ben could feel what it meant to him, feel his lover's overwhelming joy and gratefulness and love. Larry reached to grab his hip, keeping him close as he rolled his hips back against him, and Ben could feel his pleasure almost as acutely as his own. His previous desperation was replaced by an almost tranquil ecstasy as he rocked slowly in him, building waves of pleasure that shivered through them both. It was perfect, even more perfect with the knowledge that he could have this at any time, that Larry was as much his as he'd been Larry's for longer than he'd known himself.

He smoothed a hand down Larry's stomach to curl around his cock, stroking him slowly in time with his thrusts and feeling the pleasure between them grow. As much as part of him wanted this to last forever, his passion was spurned on by Larry's choked cry, by throaty gasps for more. "Oh god yes, please, feel so good - !"

Ben bucked harder into him in reply, crying out against his neck in the resultant pulse of pleasure. It was the most intense, most passionate and connected he'd ever felt to anyone, and for a moment nothing else in the world existed but this. No fighting, no kaiju. Just himself and this wonderful, beautiful man.

He could feel Larry grow close and the pleasure of it pulled him along for the ride, building strong and hard and finally cresting. He cried out against Larry's skin as he bucked deep into him, coming inside him as Larry echoed his cry and flooded his fingers with seed.

Ben made no move to pull away even as the ecstasy of orgasm faded. It felt too good to be close. He still felt connected to him. Larry reached back wordlessly to grasp his hip, a silent request to _stay_ that he was all too happy to oblige. Now that his desire was sated he realized just how much Larry had given him. It was so much more than just this love and intimacy. Flickers of memory sifted to the front of his mind, things that he'd known of that became so much more vibrant. He understood the loneliness of a childhood spent moving with a father in the Army, an absent mother desperately longed for. A relationship with his father far more painful than Larry had ever admitted to. The relief of being left behind when his father transferred out in his senior year, even though it meant rooming with strangers, even though he was still too afraid to openly explore his budding sexuality with the possibility of his father finding out and removing all financial support still looming over his head.

Even now he was still afraid, Ben realized, despite the partners he was had. Afraid of being judged, abandoned, hurt. "I'm here," he murmured, trying to wordlessly reinforce it with all the love he felt. He'd always thought that Larry was amazing, and seeing him so vulnerable awoke a fierce protectiveness in him. "We can be as secret or open about this as you like. Whatever you need."

Larry hummed softly, and Ben felt a contented happiness in him. He shifted a little in his arms, turning his head back towards him. Ben leaned over him to catch his mouth in a slow, warm kiss. "Just need you," Larry breathed against his lips, and Ben couldn't help but smile.

"You have more of me than anyone else in the world." He indulged in another kiss, wishing that he'd somehow known this, been able to feel this long before now. "I'll take care of you."

"I'd really like that," Larry replied, and kissed him again. 

~~~~


	4. The Only Mark Three Pilot Left Alive

When Angie returned to the Shatterdome, Ben told her everything, because he knew she'd find out soon enough anyway. He didn't expect her to be so smugly delighted, but he could deal with the subtle teasing that was only a display of her affection, anyway. Even though Ben started training with Larry, Angie remained the official co-pilot for Lucky Strike, because both he and Larry knew how much it meant to her to fight. Larry and Jo remained the Shatterdome's reserve pilots. Ben didn't mind not sharing a Jaeger with his lover as long as they could still share the Drift.

In the spring Lucky Strike was dispatched to support Matador Fury. They followed the Kaiju - Category three, codename "Kurenai" - to the coast of Mexico by Zihuatanejo. The beast had enormous, pincher like jaws that almost snapped Lucky's arm in two when they were caught in a clinch. But Lucky was fully loaded now; and her diamond-tipped cutting chains gave them the perfect edge, sawing into the Kaiju's blood-rust skin until its crimson phosphorescent markings were stained with Kaiju Blue.

Their first official kill felt good, and for a time Ben believed they could actually win.

Sometime after their second kill Angie ended up in bed with Jo, which was, upon reflection, inevitable. He'd known about her attraction, and so Larry had known, and in the Drift couldn't hope to conceal the knowledge. Part of him wondered if Angie had planned it that way all along. It brought about a whirlwind of change, and suddenly his sister was transferring to Hong Kong with Jo to take command of one of the new mark 4 Jaegers. It hurt, a little, but Angie was so excited that he couldn't begrudge her that success.

They were Rangers, he had to remind himself. They were part of something bigger than themselves, more important than personal desires.

Ben forced himself to remember that when the war began to turn sour, when the Beckets were transferred to the icebox and Gipsy fell. It felt like the beginning of the end to Ben, with Yancy dead and Raleigh dismissed, vanished. It was too harsh a reminder of their mortality. He and Larry start wearing matching titanium rings. Neither of them are sure whose idea it was. Their relationship was common knowledge despite not being public, but the rings weren't an engagement. Their commitment went deeper: to never let the war part them. To never end up like the Beckets, because neither would be able to survive it.

Angie was only twenty six when her Jaeger is destroyed in battle, ripped apart by a Kaiju on the beaches of Brunei. The PPDC didn't find any bodies; they had nothing to mourn. Ben was alternatively devastated and manically angry. Angie had been the one to bring them into this with her drive to make a difference, to save this ruined world.

 

Ben stared at the PPDC psychiatrist, rage bubbling hot inside him. "What do you mean, you're grounding me?"

The man, who'd introduced himself as Grant shortly before trying to become the expert on Ben's mental state, stepped back. He at least having the decency to look a little intimidated. "I'm recommending some time off, yes. Your anger is too fresh, it will make you unpredictable. You need time to get over what's happened."

"I need to fight," Ben insisted, trying to force his hands to unclench from the fists they'd curled into unbidden. "I need to destroy the motherfuckers that killed her."

"Ranger Carson...." Grant's eyes flicked to where Larry is quietly perched on a cabinet near the wall. "Are you sure you don't want to continue this conversation in private?"

Ben couldn't hold back his incredulous laugh. "Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know a damn thing, do you? He shares my mind, I keep nothing from him."

"And that's why I'm grounding you," the shrink snapped. "You're a mess. He's experienced the same loss you have. You drift with him and you take him down with you."

"We can't stop fighting," Larry said quietly, meeting Grant's gaze as they both turned to look at him. "We're the only ones left who can pilot Lucky Strike. Her and Vulcan Specter in Australia are the only mark Three Jaegers left. All the other mark Three pilots are dead."

Ben turned to stare at him, suddenly realizing the truth of it. "Oh my god."

"Hm." Grant's lips narrowed. "Which is why my recommendation to the Corps will be not to risk pilots who aren't at the top of their game when we're already losing Jaeger faster than we could build them."

"Do you think any of this matters to a Kaiju?" Ben exploded. "They're not going to stop coming just because my sister died, and if I let them rip apart the country than I'm dishonoring her memory!"

"Ben..." Larry stepped forward to place a hand on his bicep, meeting his gaze and stroking down his arm to lace their fingers together. It was a comfort badly needed. Then he looked at the psychiatrist. "Let me Drift with him."

"If you think you can convince me to let either of you _near_ your Jaeger - "

"Not in Lucky. Just let us Drift." Larry's voice grew softer. "Ben and I take care of each other. Just give us some time together. I'll make sure he was okay to fight."

Ben saw the corners of the shrink's mouth twitch and knew that Larry had found his mark. The therapeutic applications of Drifting had been purported by the medical community since the technology emerged, and the unwillingness of the PPDC to release it into their hands was still a sore spot. "Alright. I will allow it, and then I'll re-evaluate."

The shared pain of loss was almost overwhelming in the Drift, not just of Angie but of Jo, too, who'd been just as close to them through the Drift. But they still had each other, and in the Drift their memories of both women were more true. With no connection to their Jaeger, they could chase rabbits all they wanted, and for hours they did nothing but relive memories in the comfort of each other's arms. Ben saw the same happy scenes from his eyes and Larry's, then let himself go back to their childhood, to before the Kaiju came when Angie was carefree and full of life. Pieces of her memories come to the forefront as well, and he realized that he still had that stored inside him, the building blocks of Angie transferred to him through the drift.

She was happy, he realized. Despite the hellish world they lived in. Angie had found her purpose in being a pilot, believed in it so strongly that it was worth any sacrifice.

In reality he was sobbing, they both were, but somehow it felt like a great weight had been lifted.

They were both cleared for active duty.

~~~

Action on their side of the Pacific stayed aggravatingly quiet for months after Angie was death. Southeast Asia fielded three attacks in almost as many months, and Los Angeles' second Jaeger team, the Mark-4 Mammoth Apostle and her pilots, got shipped down to help, though Ben suspected Australia's fancy Mark-5 and her two support Jaeger need little of it. But there weren't many Jaeger left, and the PPDC wasn't taking any unnecessary risks.

The Jaeger program had fallen out of favor with the world, it seemed; Striker Eureka was the youngest Jaeger on the force, and she was almost five years old. He was heard rumors that Marshal Stacker Pentecost had pulled Gipsy out of the graveyard and was going to repair her up in Alaska despite the lack of Mark-3 pilots. It screamed of desperation to Ben, and he questioned a world that chose to funnel its money and resources into building a wall to hide behind. He wondered how anyone who'd ever seen a Kaiju fight would put their faith in a wall rather than a weapon that could actively fight and protect them. But the world was getting tired. Maybe it was easier for people to believe that they could be safe behind a wall, that they could finally stop fighting.

Ben knew they'd never be able to stop fighting.

Three days before the tenth anniversary of K-Day, they got the call. When he and Larry reached LOCCENT the techs were already in full swing. Having just sent the team for the Mammoth Apostle off towards their Conn-pod, they descend on them with their Drivesuits.

Larry managed to make eye contact with Lassen as they started to dress. "Stats and time to landfall?"

"Class three, codename Fibonacci. Little fucker's fast, though. Tracking equipment lost him a couple times. He's circling the coast about five hundred miles off shore, all the Shatterdomes are on alert."

Marshal Keeley strode out of her office, giving them a nod before turning to Lassen. "We're the only dome in the west with more than one Jaeger currently stationed. Lucky Strike will hold the ten mile mark, but keep the choppers ready to move her if this thing makes land. We'll send Mammoth out to sea to try and take care of this fucker before it makes up its mind."

Ben drew a deep breath. "With all due respect, Marshal, Apostle's huge, she was built to be a sentry. She was not half as fast as we are, there's no way she can keep up with this thing. We're the trackers. Put Apostle on the 10 mile mark and let us go after the beast. If it gets by us than you can air lift her to support Panama City or Anchorage or wherever it makes land. But it's not going to get by Lucky, I promise you that."

Keeley's mouth tightened. "Mammoth's a newer Jaeger, she was in better shape - "

"And her pilots only have four actual fights under their belts. Lucky has seven, and we've done underwater engagement. You know we're the better choice."

For a moment Keeley regarded him, calculating, lips still drawn tight. "Are you sure you two are ready?"

"We're always ready to fight," Larry replied quietly, his form a solid strength behind Ben.

"I'm not going to agro and fuck this up just because of Angie," Ben added. "You have my word, Marshal."

"You'd fucking better not, or I'll ground you for real. Alright, get in your pod. Drop in five."

By the time they were Drifting and deployed, Fibonacci was halfway down the Baja California peninsula and a little further out to sea. The choppers moved fast, but Ben was still antsy. They both were. It felt like forever since they'd been one with Lucky, and the connection to the Jaeger felt especially energized today, like she was just as ready for the fight as they were.

"We have a visual on the target," Larry said as Ben saw the Kaiju, form a dark mass under the water in the distance. "It's moving fast."

"Support fighters incoming," Keeley said over the com. "Let's see if we could got this asshole's attention before he gots any further out to sea. Rangers, ready Lucky for submersion. Engage as soon as those missiles find their mark."

"Roger that." Ben reached for the control console, entering the commands that would make the Jaeger watertight, switch from air cooling to sea-water. It would make her heavier, less responsive, but dense enough to stay submerged.

Two fighter planes streaked by them, dropping their payload on the Kaiju in the distance. In moments the choppers caught up, lowering them into the water and breaking away as they sink beneath the surface.

They were both hyper alert, minds interpreting the stream of data from Lucky's sensors and cameras, trying to locate the Kaiju. The bottom of the Pacific here was at least five times deeper than Lucky is tall; they were lucky they caught the Kaiju here, rather than further out to sea. But the missiles had kicked up sediment that had made the water cloudy, and they were quickly losing light as they sank.

"Movement at your three o'clock," Lassen's voice said through the com just as Lucky maked purchase with the ocean floor, and they turned as the bulk of Fibonacci appeared through the murk. It was aptly named, the crest of its body a jagged, spiralling shell mounted over a powerful tail, its two sets of limbs and head half concealed by the shell. Heavily armoured, but it was small even for a class three. All they'd need to do would be to catch it off guard and go for the underbelly - 

Then the Kaiju rushed towards them, and unfurled into something much, much different.

The thing had fucking _tentacles_.

"Jesus Christ!" Larry cursed as they moved to react, to try and counter, but everything was off. They were trained to counter blows, not restraints, and though they thrashed and twisted and managed to saw through the first tentacles that curled around Lucky's wrists, they were only replaced by more. Fibonacci had them pulled them off their feet in moments, tumbling through the water and hardly knowing which way was up as they struggled.

"Rangers! What the hell is going on?" They could hear the note of panic in Keeley's voice.

Lassen sounded a little less panicked, but not much. "Lucky Strike and target traveling East at fifty - at sixty miles per hour and accelerating."

"We're in trouble, Marshal." Ben pulled a deep breath, trying to think, trying to push away panic. "Kaiju's got us all tangled up, it's dragging us out to sea. It's like some kind of squid. Engaging anti-kaiju missiles-"

 _Missile Malfunction_ displayed on the screen in front of them, launch doors blinking red on Lucky's status monitor. "Goddammit!"

The Kaiju pulled at them, and he and Larry both cried out at the feedback of pain that wrenched at their shoulders. They could feel the Jaeger shudder as Fibonacci pulled them closer, forcing its limbs back beyond their designed range of movement despite their efforts to twist free. With the Jaeger immobilized, the Kaiju's limbs pounded and ripped at Lucky's underbelly as they moved. A shudder ran through the visor shield in front of them, and Ben heard something crack as a tentacle tightened around the conn-pod.

"We're sending Apostle out to you," Keeley was saying. "Lucky, could you hold your ground?"

There wa no possible way the other Jaeger could reach them. The strain Fibonacci was putting on the Jaeger _hurt_ , they had minutes before her joints started to give.

Ben glanced over, meeting Larry's gaze through his helmet with unspoken understanding. If the Kaiju came out of this alive, it would do this again: pick off the rest of the Jaeger one by one, haul them away and tear them apart. This had to stop now, no matter the cost.

"Lucky! Carson, report!"

"We'll take care of this," Ben said, voice rough, already entering commands into Lucky's control console with a calm he didn't feel. "Initiating self destruct."

For a moment, there was only silence on the other end of the com. "Roger. Flip the switch and got the hell out of there."

"If we can." Larry was already activating the escape pods as he responded, but there was no telling if they'd be able to get free of Fibonacci's grasp. The visor shield in front of them was fracturing under the constriction of the tentacle wrapped around it, seawater shooting through the cracks. "Marshal... it's been a pleasure serving under you."

 _'Self Destruct in Thirty Seconds',_ Lucky's computer said as the countdown timer started. Ben looked over at his co-pilot with a sudden rush of fear. His lover. His _partner_. Why the hell did they have separate escape pods? 

"Lar - "

"We'll be fine," Larry said softly as Lucky's systems started to lift them towards the pods, even though Ben could feel that he was just as terrified. The escape pods were designed to keep them alive as long as possible in the event of a deploy; alive, but not conscious. Once they launched they'd have no way of knowing.... Ben pushed the thought away. It wouldn't happen, that had always been their promise. This war wouldn't part them. They were in this together until the end.

"I love you," he said, feeling Larry's smile as the edge of the pod blocked him from sight, as the connection to Lucky and the Drift broke and everything went dark.

~~~

The first thing Ben was aware of was pain: a bone deep, weary ache and a pulsing throb behind his eyes. It felt like the worst hangover he'd ever had. His throat was dry as he swallowed, eyes closed against the brightness above him as he tried to process his surroundings and come back to himself. His limbs were heavy, and when he tried to lift an arm to his face it connected with something hard above him - 

Escape pod.

Ben forced open his eyes in a surge of panic, scooting up out of the pod so fast that he tumbled out of it, falling onto the black gravel and rock beneath him hard enough that it almost knocked the wind out of him. Still he scrambled to get up, yanking his helmet off, eyes watering against the sun as he tried to look around.

The top of his escape pod lay a few feet away on the rocks, blown off as designed once the pod's basic navigation system registered a safe delivery. The pod itself was in rough shape, the paneling half melted, ragged gaps in the outer hull and some of the floats. Ben felt a surge of terror at the realization that he had barely survived, and scrambled back up to stand on top of the pod, looking around wildly, trying to find some sign of his partner's pod in the surf.

None of this was right. There should be choppers here, the PPDC should have found them long before the pods would have needed to bring them to land, but there was no sign of anything. The rocky black beach stretched out for miles, and he could see what he thought might be a town in the distance, but he was alone on the beach. Then a glint of something caught his eye, something bright in the surf in the distance.

Ben was off the pod and running towards it without a second thought, yanking off his gloves and other bits of his drive suit as he did so he could run faster. It had to be the other pod, it had to be Larry. Larry had to be all right, he'd feel it if he wasn't, he'd know, he'd _know_ \- 

Lucky Strike's second escape pod was in even worse shape than his, and when Ben ripped open the top it came away in a flood of sea water. Panicked, Ben yanked Larry free of the pod and up onto the beach, praying that the connection to his suit had held, that the oxygen supply had been enough - 

He pulled off Larry's helmet, touching his skin and giving a choked moan of relief when he felt warmth. Larry's pulse was slow but strong under his fingers. Moments later, Larry's eyebrows scrunched together, and he stirred, voice a croak. "Christ...."

Ben wanted to cry and kiss him all over simultaneously. He held back both to let Larry recover, fingers stroking his lover's cheek gently instead. "Hey...."

Larry blinked up at him fuzzily, then smiled, reaching up to brush his fingertips against the side of his face. His gloved fingers were a little clumsy. "We're still shiny side up...."

"Yeah." The word is half choked, and Ben swallowed hard at the lump in his throat. "No fucking clue where we are, though. No sign of the Marshal."

Larry pushed himself up with a groan, and after a few moments Ben helped him to his feet. They slowly started towards what Ben could see now was definitely a town of some kind, because after the indeterminate time they'd been in the pods the first priority was finding drinking water and some kind of food.

They could see that the town was deserted and crumbling as they approached, but that was normal. Almost all the coastal towns had long been evacuated, even the ones that hadn't been hit by a Kaiju. What was strange was there was no sign of the costal wall near the town or anywhere else Ben could see.

Flickers of Larry's memory tugged at his attention - warmth, beaches, pineapple plants. An army base. Larry put it together before he could. "... do you think we could have ended up in Hawaii?"

"We were thousands of miles from Hawaii," Ben replied, though it wasn't exactly correct. They'd already been almost 600 miles out to sea before the Kaiju had dragged them off, perhaps it had been far enough to confuse the escape pods' basic navigation. His mind was already putting everything else together. The lack of wall, no sign of the PPDC, the black, volcanic gravel under their feet. "... shit."

"Been years since anyone's gotten near Hawaii," Larry remarked, pulling off the gloves from his drive suit so he could slip a hand into Ben's. "Not in very good shape."

Hawaii had been the first mandatory relocation, after its second Kaiju attack three years previous had devastated most of the island chain's metropolitan areas. Ben found himself wondering if there was even still electricity, let alone working telecommunications. "How the hell are we going to get home?"

Larry was silent for a moment, then gave a small hum. When Ben looked over questioningly his lover smiled. "We'll figure something out. 'Till then, well..." he glanced out at the ocean, and his fingers shifted in Ben's clasp, one stroking over the band of the titanium ring on his finger. "... kind of always wanted to honeymoon in Hawaii."

Ben felt an unexpected happiness bubble up inside him to escape in laughter, and he let go of Larry's hand to pull him close, stroking his fingers up into the familiar silken strands of thick auburn hair as he kissed him. It was all right, they'd find a way home eventually, somehow, they'd fight again. They were still together.

It was all right.

~~~End~~~


	5. Naked and Scruffy

Things had almost been simpler before they'd collapsed the Breech, Raleigh Becket found himself thinking, not for the first time. When it was just about Jaegers fighting Kaiju. Now it was endless meetings and interviews and debriefs and five and ten year plans and what if's... couldn't take for granted that the Precursors wouldn't try again at some point.

At least he had Mako, who was a little more familiar with this world (though no less bored), and whose presence made things infinitely more bearable. Sometimes during the more tedious of meetings, like the regular morning status updates, she'd slip her hand into his and they'd trace letters and doodles against each other's palms to pass the time.

Halfway through spelling out 'Jack Daniel's' the tech presenting said something that made Raleigh pause. "Wait, what was that?"

The Tech glanced to him nervously. "The surveillance satellites we routed back over Hawaii picked up a visual on a number of SOS messages on the Big Island. When we enhanced one of the images we found wreckage that looks like it might be the remains of a Jaeger escape pod."

Raleigh immediately jumped to his feet. "I volunteer to check it out."

Marshall Hansen glanced over to him with a bemused smile. "Oh you do, do you?"

"If it is one of our Jaegers, it should be a Ranger team that looks into it." Mako rose to stand beside him, and Raleigh could feel a buzz of emotion from her halfway between excitement and relief. "With your permission, sir."

Herc regarded them for a moment, then gave a sharp nod. "Right, then. Head to the base in San Diego, then take a tech team with you a couple choppers from there. And a medic. Haven't had anyone go down in Hawaii, but we should make reasonable efforts to recover any PPDC resources, I think."

Raleigh was just happy to get out of the office and back into something resembling action. "Thank you, Sir."

***

They'd been far less lazy in the beginning, Larry reflected, though the thought wasn't enough to drag him out of bed. He and Ben had been appropriately industrious, gradually travelling the island on abandoned bicycles, looking for any kind of civilization, any active technology that could help them contact home. Unfortunately while they knew the systems of a Jaeger inside and out, that expertise didn't expand to constructing CB radios or trying to MacGyver satellite telephones to run on double-A batteries, so after the first few months they'd given up on contacting home and settled down for the long haul.

It wasn't difficult to survive on the island. Many things had been left behind after the government's forced relocation, and while most of the grocery stores had been cleaned out by the government for rations, they were able to forage a decent amount of preserves from the various hotel kitchens and the occasional private residence. But he wasn't sure how many more pineapples he could eat.

The worst thing was not knowing what was going on. They hadn't seen any living sign of civilization since their pods had crashed on the east end of the island - ship, plane or anything else. Had the rest of the world stopped looking for them, hidden safely behind the Anti-Kaiju Wall? Or, as much as he hated to contemplate it, was there even anyone left to look?

Ben stirred beside him, curling closer to him despite the mid-morning heat, nestling his face into Larry's neck with a little contented hum. He could feel a contented sense of well-being from his partner, and it calmed his thoughts. It wasn't like Drifting, nothing could ever be like that, but he could still feel a shadow of their old connection when they were close. He reached a hand to stroke the shaggy weight of Ben's sun-bleached locks back from his face affectionately, shifting a little to press a kiss to his hair.

"Morning," Ben murmured sleepily, and Larry smiled, nuzzling his hair.

"Closer to afternoon I think."

"Good," came the sleepy reply. Ben shifted, pressing a warm kiss to his neck. One broad palm moved to smooth slowly over his abs to rest on his side, caressing just under his ribs, just where Ben had long ago learned he was sensitive.

Larry bit his lip on a low moan, trying to keep his mind on practical things. "We should go forage before it gets too late. Running low on things."

"Mmm. No rush," came the reply. Ben slid one strong thigh over his hips, brushing against the base of his half-hard cock as he continued trailing kisses up his neck. "Mm. You're scruffy."

"Running low on shaving stuff," Larry pointed out, though he tilted his head back to give Ben better access, tightening the arm around his shoulders to pull him closer.

"Later," Ben murmured again, catching his earlobe between his lips. He rolled his hips against Larry's thigh with a low, appreciative hum, hand sliding down Larry's abs to curl around his cock. "Wanna Drift first."

Larry chuckled as he turned towards him, tangling his fingers in Ben's hair and urging his mouth to his for a kiss. "I still can't believe you're using that as a euphemism."

"I don't hear you complaining." Ben grinned against his mouth and kissed him again. 

~~~

The beaches at the east most point of Hawaii's Big Island were made of volcanic rock, and as the choppers approached it was easy to see the huge white SOS that had been spelled out high on the beach in light stones and driftwood. Raleigh swept the wreckage with binoculars as they got closer, focusing on the end of the first S as it came into view. Battered and corroded, but definitely a Jaeger escape pod. He felt a surge of excitement. "Set us down, it's definitely one of ours!

The pod, of course, was long empty, its communications relay melted off, but Raleigh recognized the faded call numbers immediately. The Lucky Strike was the first Jaeger he and Yancy had been stationed with at the Los Angeles Shatterdome, and she'd gone down in battle sometime during his absence.

A large red tupperware container was strapped to the inside of the pod. Mako opened it cautiously, then pulled out a piece of paper. "We are staying at Reeds Bay Resort in Hilo. Bring... real beef?"

Raleigh took the paper from her. It was unsigned, but not a complete surprise. He turned to the chopper pilot. "Can you find Hilo from here?"

At his nod, Raleigh shrugged. "Guess we're going to Hilo."

~~~

Larry ran his hands up the well-muscled thighs that straddled his hips, stroking around Ben's waist and pulling him closer. "Certainly make a good argument for staying in bed," he murmured, lips ghosting down Ben's neck to suck at that spot near the crook that he knew would make his lover whimper and squirm. Ben sucked a hard breath between his teeth, hips bucking against his, the hard length of his cock sliding against Larry's abs.

"Best argument," he groaned in reply, arching his head back to encourage more. His fingers tightened in Larry's hair, free hand sliding between them to curl around both their hardened lengths, stroking slowly. Even February in Hawaii didn't cool down, and they were both sweating already, slick where heated skin pressed together. A dip in the ocean afterwards would take care of that.

He dug his fingers into Ben's ass and pulled him closer, biting at the crook of his neck and groaning at the flicker of Ben's pleasure he felt as a result. Referring to sex as Drifting wasn't completely a euphemism. Larry was certain he'd still be addicted to sex with Ben otherwise, but the need they felt now wasn't completely physical. It had been a year and a half since their last fight, since he'd last felt Ben's mind synch with his own, and it left an emptiness worse than physical separation. Sex couldn't bring their thoughts back into synch, but it was the next best thing, being able to feel Ben's happiness and pleasure and love flicker against this mind.

Ben twisted to catch his mouth, the familiar claim of his kisses comforting and arousing both. He nipped at Larry's lower lip before sealing his mouth over Larry's with a groan, tongue questing for his as he ran the pad of his thumb through the slick pearl of pre-cum on the head of Larry's cock. "Not close enough," he muttered, shifting on his lap, fingers sliding down his neck to knead at his shoulder. "Miss you."

"More than anything, love," Larry breathed in reply, letting his forehead press to his, eyes closed to focus on the sensations, on the flickers of emotion that used to be so much stronger.

Ben drew a shuddering breath, wrapping both arms around his shoulders and grinding their hips together. "Fuck, Lar... wanna ride you...." He leaned over just enough to grab the bottle of lube off the bedside table, making a little disgruntled noise. "Fuck, are we almost out of lube again?"

"Enough for now," Larry replied, squeezing some onto two fingers, stroking the slick over Ben's ass before working them inside him. It wasn't that sex had become less kinky on the island - certainly there were times when the best escape was something hard and wild and dirty - but the familiarity of making love was the most needed comfort. It was a badly needed anchor and support to be able to lose himself in his lover's body, in pleasure given and shared.

Ben drew a sharp breath against his mouth as he finally sunk down onto him, one arm wrapped around him, braced against the headboard behind him. Larry let his eyes fall closed, lips ghosting against his as he let the sensation bring back shared memories. The first time they'd drifted together, the first time Ben had kissed him, pulling him out of world of uncertainty and self-consciousness and into this deep, sustaining love. Training with Ben and fucking through dozens of hangovers after the Drift, exploring each other's bodies with studious intensity. Memories flickered of the first time Ben had pushed him back on his bunk like this, arms wrapped around him, pleasure expressed in hitched moans and soft, joyful laughter as he rocked down onto his cock again and again.

He loosened his grip on Ben's ass to stroke up the broad expanse of his back, nuzzling warm kisses down his neck, losing himself to the scent and taste of his lover's skin. His lips brushed against the top of the tattoo on his shoulder - the same nose art that had once been painted on Lucky Strike, the same art that was mirrored on his own arm - and felt a soft pain of loss for their fallen Jaeger. But the most important part of Lucky was still here in his arms, gasping encouragements and reverent endearments against his hair as they moved together, reconnecting and healing what they'd lost.

"My Ben," he murmured, drawing a shuddering breath against his jaw at the strong wave of feedback, at Ben's joy. "Always, always...."

"Always," Ben echoed, the low rumble of his voice sending another shiver down Larry's spine. His thighs tensed and bunched as he began to move a little harder, gasping in pleasure, but there was no need hurry to this. Best to savor, to stay connected like this as long as they could.

"Love you," he murmured - or had the words come from Ben's mouth? It was all the same. They shared breath between kisses, bodies falling into perfect rhythm, and when their passion finally crested the only thing in the world that existed to him was Ben.

The afterglow was almost as good as sex, despite being a sticky mess. Larry let himself lean back against the headboard, enjoying the closeness, the weight of Ben half-collapsed against his chest. He nestled his face into Ben's sun blond hair and drew a deep breath, fingers tracing down his spine as he let his mind drift to the sound of Ben's breath and the rush of the sea outside their hotel.

There was definitely worse places they could be.

Then Ben stirred against him, moving too early, lifting his head with brows furrowed. "Do you hear something?"

He could hear something, faintly, a strange whirr interrupting the wind and the sea. "What...."

The realization came as Ben spoke aloud. "Helicopter." He sat up and pressed a warm kiss to Larry's smile. "Wash?"

"We'd better," he replied, feeling a shiver of excitement. Choppers meant people, meant the world was okay after all.

~~~

The chopper circled Hilo twice before finally zeroing in on the address they'd looked up for the resort. One of the parking lots had "WE ARE HERE" painted across the asphalt in uneven white letters. On the beach nearby... was that a beach umbrella?

The lot was empty, and more than large enough for the chopper to land. As Raleigh approached the beach with Mako, he could make out two figures making their way out of the surf towards the umbrella and the two hotel chairs that sat underneath it. He squinted, shading his eyes against the sun, then one of them raised a hand in a wave.

The second raised a hand to shade his eyes against the sun before calling out. "Hey, Mako! Jesus Christ, is that Raleigh Becket?"

Raleigh quickened his stride, relief washing through him as he recognized his old compatriots. "Rangers Carson and Byrne, you scruffy motherfuckers, I can't believe you're - " He stopped, and raised a hand up automatically to cover Mako's eyes "Oh my god, you're, you're - "

"Alive?" Ben supplied, stopping half behind the beach chair.

"Definitely scruffy," Larry added with a shrug, running a hand over the short beard on his chin. "Sorry, ran out of shaving cream."

Raleigh tried to ignore the fact that Mako had stepped out to peek past his hand. "Naked!"

Ben shrugged, grabbing a towel off the back of one of the chairs and starting to dry off. "We're the only ones left on the island. It's hot. Didn't seem like much point to clothes."

Larry picked up the the jug that sat on the table between the two chairs. "Want some pineapple juice? We ran out of booze at Christmas, but there's still little umbrellas."

"I like pineapple juice," Mako replied, and Raleigh turned to find her smiling brightly at him.

"Why don't you go see if there's any extra uniforms in the chopper?"

Mako's smile widened. "Why don't _you_ go see if there's any extra uniforms in the chopper? I can debrief the Rangers."

Raleigh opened his mouth and closed it again. Then he turned back to the former pilots of the Lucky Strike, who were still waiting by the beach chairs, still seemingly unconcerned about their nudity. "All the Jaegers have been destroyed and the Shatterdomes are all closed except for Hong Kong, we're the only pilot team left, but we sealed the fucking Breech and the war is over for now. Now can you please put some clothes on?"

Ben's smile softened, and he wrapped his towel around his waist as he approached. "It sounds like a rough time," he said quietly, meeting his gaze seriously. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make light. I lost my sister two years ago. I'm glad you're back, and I'm glad things are over. If that's your doing, then thank you, Raleigh."

Raleigh swallowed down the sorrow that he didn't think would ever truly fade. "Thanks. You willing to come back?"

"To running water and meat that doesn't come from a can? Hell yes."

"To the Corps."

Larry had thankfully also decided to put on his towel. "We're not discharged?"

Raleigh tried to ignore the slight wave of disappointment he could feel from Mako at the towel. "Not unless you want to be. The world doesn't really want to chance the Kaiju coming back. We're fortifying our defenses and planning for the future. Not sure exactly what it's going to look like, but a pair of Rangers with combat experience would be invaluable to us."

"Can we Drift?" The question came from both pilots almost in unison, who glanced over to give each other slightly rueful smiles.

Raleigh understood. He nodded. "Of course."

"Then we're in," Ben replied, catching Larry's hand in his and starting up the beach towards the choppers.

If Mako hung back to walk just a step behind, them, well, that didn't matter so much in the end. After everything they'd lost, it was good to get back a friend or two.

~~~


End file.
